My "keys" to being your own boss...

Doesn't matter if you own your own business, are a stay at home mom (hardest job in the world) or even work at a job that requires you to "self-motivate." These are a few of the "keys" I have used over the years to help me.

I own my own business...and that may sound ideal to many. But staying "self-motivated" and managing your own time and effort can be exhausting and frustrating...to say the least! 

One of my children just embarked on a new "life adventure." So I jotted down a few pieces of advise I HOPE will help him because I know how hard it is to stay motivated. Some days it just seems easier to sit around in my pajamas, drinking coffee and watching Good Morning America.

Sometimes that "desire" is the result of fear, frustration, discouragement... negative feelings that are overwhelming and paralyzing. Those negative emotions have no place in our minds...regardless of your "lot in life"...allowing the "negative" to creep into your mind and soul is NEVER a good thing. 

So here is the email I sent him...advice I hope others can benefit from....whether you are starting a new venture or are already living it....truth is, it is never too late to "make a change."

So you are going to embark on your next “life journey.” Let me share a few tidbits I have gleaned in my years of “self-employed” experience. Haven’t perfected it all…and I certainly have my “bad” days. But seriously, if you will do these things, it will help you a great deal.

BE POSITIVE

Think positive thoughts when you wake up, think them when you go to bed, think them all day. Negative wears you down…mentally and physically…if things aren’t going great and you find yourself “thinking negative” shut it down immediately and find SOMETHING positive to think about. 

BE GRATEFUL

The best way to be positive is to find things to be grateful for…anything! Thank you Lord for…..doesn’t matter…there is always SOMETHING to be grateful for! Some days all I can find to be grateful for is enough toothpaste to get me through the day....but you know what, there are people in this world who don't have toothpaste...be grateful! 

MAKE YOUR BED EVERY DAY.

Seriously, every single day. Okay, you can pee first, but then go right back and make your bed. Just do it. Trust me, it makes a difference!

GET UP EARLY EVERY DAY!

Every day…not just Monday through Friday, but every day of the week. Find a “morning routine” that allows you to start your day with a positive attitude…prayer, meditation, exercise, reading the paper (although a lot of that is negative these days so I avoid them!)…whatever works for you!

KEEP A “TO DO” LIST AT ALL TIMES

I keep a list of the things I need to do the next day. EVERYTHING! Every errand, every call, every email I need to send. I mark off the things I accomplished that day and carry what I didn’t to the next day. 

Sometimes it might seem frustrating that you didn't get it ALL done.

Don’t get discouraged or upset if something didn’t get done…just put it on the list for tomorrow!

Calendars are for dentist, hair appointments, kid's activities…a list you can throw away every day is the way to go.

I keep yellow note pads all over the place so when I think of something I can immediately write it down…nothing is more stressful than to forget something. I keep a grocery list, I keep a "Lowe's" list, I keep a "need to clean/repair" list. 

Once it is written down, it is OUT OF MIND…in other words, I don't have to worry about forgetting it. I won’t forget I need to do it because it is on my list!

I may have 2-3 lists in the house or the car, but once a day I combine them and go over my “things to do tomorrow” so I know what I need to do.

In the morning I don't even consult my "to do" list until after I have gone through my morning routine...make bed, drink coffee, get dressed...be grateful, think positive. After my mind and body are right, THEN I look at my list and start working the list.

KEEP YOUR WORK OUT OF THE BEDROOM

I know that is hard to do when you live in a small apartment, but find a place that can be your “work space” out of the bedroom. I say that because you really need a “haven.” A place you can go to shut off and shut down…and that should be your bedroom…don’t fold clothes, don’t write business emails, don’t return business calls in your bedroom!!!! Need privacy? Go sit in the bathroom…lol!

MAKE A CONTACT/INFO JOURNAL

I wish I had done this years ago…a journal of everything I have repaired and replaced in each apartment…but I didn’t and now I can’t remember when I bought that stove or replaced the bathroom floor! 

So get one of those composition notebooks and just keep notes…just write it all down in the “journal.” Keep it simple…just names, contact info, who you talked to, what you talked about, etc. 

You never know when you will need the name and phone number of that guy you talked to three years ago…

SHUT OFF ELECTRONICS

Set a specific time to turn off or put down ALL electronics…phone, iPad, computer…even the tv…whether it is 8-9-10 o’clock…just put it down. And turn off the email and text notification on your phone! (This is especially important for kids!)

Keep a real book (preferably something positive and informative) by the bed and READ. Not business stuff…just for shits and giggles. (My kids had a strict bedtime...no electronics, no overhead lights, no tv...even if they weren't tired, they had to be in their beds with a book...they have all become avid readers as adults)

And don’t start your day on the computer or your phone…prayer, meditation, exercise…whatever.

Brian literally starts his day off drinking coffee and staring into space…no tv, no newspaper, just him and his coffee. 

KNOW YOUR “BODY RHYTHMS” AND DEVELOP A DAILY ROUTINE!

I know my mind and body are sharpest in the morning…so I make sure I do the stuff that requires my mind and body to cooperate before 1 p.m….after that, I am toast! So I take a “down time” in the afternoon…return mundane calls, read articles I want to read, etc. Then I kick it back into gear in the evening…I think that comes from years of having kids come home from school, dinner time, evening activities, etc. But I know this about myself, so I have developed a daily routine that takes advantage of my “body rhythms.” I know not to do important book work mid afternoon…my brain is mush! 

EAT, DRINK WATER, SLEEP.

Eating right, drinking LOTS of water and getting enough sleep is important. I have tried telling you guys nothing good happens after 10…so why stay up late. Go to bed…get the sleep you need, then get up in the morning WITH A POSITIVE ATTITUDE!

There will be days when you will feel discouraged, frustrated, afraid, defeated, etc. All I can tell you is YOUR ATTITUDE WILL DETERMINE THE COURSE OF YOUR LIFE (and most definitely your day!). Shit attitude, shit happens. And honestly, even with a “good attitude” shit happens…but you just lift up your chin, put a smile on your face and keep on moving in THE RIGHT DIRECTION!!! (EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO FAKE IT!!!!)

Keep a positive attitude…sometimes the only thing I can be thankful for is the pretty blue sky or a pretty flower…everything else is just CRAAAAP! But dwelling in the negative does nothing but bring your mind and body down. 

There will be days when you wake up and think “life sucks…I don’t even want to venture out into the world today.” GO!!! GET UP, MAKE YOUR BED AND GO!!!! Pick up your list and start making a plan. You never know what day will be THE day. Wasn’t yesterday, maybe today! 

Before you know it you will look back and see that 10 years has passed…trust me, you want to look back and know that even though things didn’t always go JUST RIGHT, you were happy.

And THAT…happiness…is all dependent on whether you GET UP, MAKE YOUR BED AND GO INTO THE WORLD WITH A POSITIVE ATTITUDE. 

So today sucked, last year sucked, the last decade sucked…well, its all up to you as to whether the NEXT decade goes any better.

Love you! ;)

One more piece of advice I forgot to mention (but I am sure he will read it here ;)

Don't wish your life away..."I wish it was payday, I wish the baby would sleep through the night, I can't wait for Christmas/my vacation/that raise!!!"

STOP WISHING YOUR LIFE AWAY!

Live in the day...enjoy THIS day! Payday will come, your vacation will come, the baby will start sleeping through the night, you will get caught up on those bills...it WILL happen but all your wishing and wanting and fretting and worrying isn't going to make time go faster. It will just make today miserable.

And trust me, there will be a time in your life when you will wish you could make time stand still.

Live today. Just today. Plan for tomorrow but don't wish this day away. We only get one life and only so many days to live it. 

What if this was your last full day on this earth...how sad if you didn't cherish every minute of it!

A simple side table...

When we added the new bedroom chairs....

...we decided to take out the "surround sound system." When I built this room 16 years ago, I installed surround sound and we had a whole sound system set up and wired through the walls. 

Truth be told, we haven't used the surround sound system in YEARS...so there was no need to have the hulking components taking up real estate. It was just something to dust.

As pretty as the little MCM table was that held the sound system components, it really didn't work in the space.

But that left one small problem. Brian didn't have anything to set his computer or drinks on. Every guy should have a place to put his "stuff" next to his recliner...right?

Most of the side tables in my house are square or rectangular. And that just wasn't going to work in the space next to his chair.

Fortunately, my neighbor Carolyn has a "flea booth" and has a garage full of odds and ends. So I dug around in her garage and found this little round table....

She bought the little pedestal at a garage sale and attached a round craft board for the top. She hadn't gotten around to painting it and that was just fine with me! Again, "not my style" but it was the perfect size for the space.

So I brought it home, stained and sealed the top and painted the base the same color as the accent wall.

I painted it with chalk paint and considered "distressing" it a bit...and I may do that at some point. 

Right now it serves it's intended purpose.

So now this room is done...right?

Nope.

Last weekend we went shopping for a king size bed. I have NEVER had a king size bed...but sleeping with a huge dog and two cold kitties was beginning to take a toll on my back and sanity. 

So we bought a king size mattress and box springs. 

That set off a frantic search for all new sheets and blankets and a bed frame that will support and conceal the box springs...it all had to keep my bedding simple and easy to make and fit into vision I have for this room.

OH MY GOSH!!!! 

First, I hate shopping. It is just not my thing. Second, I'm "old school"...mattresses go on box springs, not platforms, which seems to be the "in" thing right now. That and REALLY tall head boards, which I don't like, or fabric covered headboards that will NOT work in a house full of critters. Third, box springs aren't suppose to show. And lastly, I'm lazy...the only way you can make a "platform" bed look decent is if you tuck all the blankets in on all sides. That breaks my "make the bed in 30 seconds" rule and we all know what would happen if I didn't make the bed every morning!

I did it. I bought new sheets and a mattress pad. I ordered a new down comforter and quilt online. I ordered a bed frame I THINK I will like...when it arrives in 1-4 weeks. 

So when it all arrives and is put together, I will do ANOTHER reveal on the master bedroom. And that should be the FINAL reveal.... until I change out the paddle fans or buy the new lamps I've been eyeing, or finally find the perfect piece of art for the big blank walls.

It's only taken me 16 years to get this far...no hurry!

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Master bedroom paint color...

The "creme" walls just didn't jive with the new grey tone chairs.

It is a real struggle. It is a head banging, nail biting struggle that often leaves me feeling helpless and hopeless.

Just kidding...it's really not THAT big of a ordeal. But it is a struggle for me to change wall paint colors. Truth is, if you hate the paint color of anything, it is a relatively easy and inexpensive fix. Just repaint. Isn't that what I post time and again.

I think for me one of my biggest fears is that it will be too dark. When I was building homes I always told my clients, if you think you like the paint color on the chip, go one shade lighter. If they insisted on sticking with the color they liked, I would buy a sample, paint a huge swatch on the wall and EVERY time they would go lighter....every time. 

That is one reason I advocate painting large samples on the wall and living with it for a few days. Also, every paint has an "under tone" and it is impossible to see until the light in the room or natural light from windows hits it just right That awesome grey you thought you loved suddenly appears green or purple...the "off-white" that looks perfect on the tiny chip suddenly looks very pink...the blue-grey that matches your bedding looks purple when the sun hits it mid day.

I think that is why the process of picking a wall paint color sends me into a dark hole. 

The upside is, I KNOW THIS....and if I will just take my own advice, I will be fine.

So I pick colors I THINK I will like, paint large swatches on different walls in the room and look at them at different times of the day. 

Last week I shared the colors I first picked...and the reasons why I thought they would NOT work!

I did go back and pick up a sample of SW Nuance...it is one shade lighter than Useful Grey. I liked the Useful Grey but I was picking up a hint of green.

So Nuance it was...and I like it...but it is VERY light and truthfully, it is tough to see a real change.

Side by side, you can see that it is an exceptionally subtle change....but a change none the less. 

I probably could have gone with a darker color...this room gets tons of natural light but for now I am happy the "creme" is gone and the subtle gray blends a bit better with the elements in the room! 

Sherwin Williams "Nuance" is pretty close to the color in my "inspiration" color chart....

I originally discovered this little color chart at designseeds.com. It is a great site where you can find color combinations that work together...colors you would never imagine could exist side by side. This color sample has been my inspiration since I first started working on this room 3 years ago...one element at a time! 

This site is a source of endless inspiration and in my opinion it is one of the first sites you should visit when designing a room. If you have an element you HAVE to decorate around it will help you find colors that will enhance, and even mask it....that ugly brown couch or the wing back chair your mom gave you. 

I was able to pull every color off this chart and incorporate it into my master bedroom. The "white" in the trim, the "grienge" on the walls, the "bluish" on the fireplace wall, the "frosted berry" in the rugs, accent pillows and throw, the "grey" in the chairs.

Start your inspiration journey with colors in hand! And remember, if the paint is too light (or too dark) JUST PAINT IT AGAIN!

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Picking a wall paint color...

Picking a new wall color is one of the most difficult things I have to do when making over a room.

Why? Because when I pick a paint color, I LOVE it and it is difficult to change! I have loved the color of my walls since I picked it out 18 years ago. I have repainted once in 18 years, and I went with the exact same color...SW Creme! 

Last year before we went to Colorado, I decided it was time to change my wall paint color....I was actually going to hire a painter to come in and paint while we were on vacation. Did it happen? NOPE! 

This year before we left, the new bedroom chairs arrived. 

"Grey" chairs...."creme" walls. Hum?! 

So when we came home from vacation this year I set out to find the perfect wall color for my master bedroom and I did what I always do...I started "surfing the web."

Pinterest, blogs, Houzz. The problem is one many encounter... the head-banging, nail-biting quest to pull all the elements of a room together with the wall paint.

I would never begin to tell someone what color to paint their walls. I just think there are too many elements to take into consideration. In my case, I have tons of natural light I love, I have an accent wall color I love, chairs I love, accent colors I love. All I need is the perfect wall color to pull it together!

OH THE MADNESS! 

So I did what I always do when I am searching for the perfect paint color. First, I picked out a few "greys" I thought I might like and painted big splotches on two different walls in the room. SW Repose Grey, Useful Grey and Eider White....I even mixed the Repose and Eider and painted that on as well. They have been on the wall for about a week now so I can look at them in all types of light! 

I also painted a few boards and propped them up on the mantel against the accent wall...just to get another perspective.

IMO, this is the only way to find the perfect wall color.

But I was still undecided...wasn't really loving any of them and was just about to hang it up and repaint the entire room the original creme.

Then I went back to the original color pallet I fell in love with when I first started this little makeover...

The white is in the bedding, throw pillows and trim color...the blue/green is on the accent wall, the frosted berry in pillows, blankets and rugs and the new chairs are definitely on the grey side. 

So what about the last color (second from the left)? 

When I look at the greys I picked out the Useful Grey seems to fall a little more in line with the color pallet but I keep picking up a hint of green. The Repose Grey just seems to be...well...grey. Very grey. I just don't think I would be happy with it even though it seems to be a very popular color right now. The Eider white is just too white. 

Then I looked at the SW color chart I have and noticed the color one shade above Useful Grey...Nuance...a tad lighter....I kind of like it. And then there is the color of my office, Alabaster. I like that color too. 

Cruuuuuud. Now I have to go buy more samples.